If I were to compare myself to something right now, it would be a helium balloon. Floating aimlessly, going with the flow of the wind, letting myself be carried away by circumstances. (Also, I’d probably be a rainbow unicorn balloon. ;))
I barely know what I want to do with my life. For most part, I’m just winging it. And I could already hear it: the disappointed tsk-tsks of all the adult voices in my head. The voices that push me into getting better at school so I could snag a job and get better at that job and then retire happy with probably ten cats and a fluffy bunny.
But for now I learned to be content. I got three reasons why it’s okay to not have everything figured out and I’ll share them with you today.
I’m Still Young
I’ve barely hit my second decade in this earth. Fifteen years ago, I’m still learning how to walk or run without tripping on myself. Ten years ago, I realized it’s actually called global warming and not warning. (Leave me alone, I was eight, okay?) Five years ago, I discovered the social strata that makes school kinda harsh. A year ago, I learned that school is an ant compared to uni.The point is, most teenagers are still patting their way in this darkness called life. Still starting to grasp on its concepts. Still identifying the many paths they could take. It seems unfair to expect us to have it all figured out already. That’s like pushing a day-old infant to write his or her name.
I Still Don’t Know Myself
Who am I? What do I like or dislike? What can I contribute to the world?
Okay so maybe I could conjure quick answers for all these questions (I’m Kate; I like–no, obsess over–unicorns and I don’t like cockroach; I can contribute by being a good global citizen.) But I’m talking about the deeper answers here. I like to think that I’ve barely scratched the surface of who I am. Like Shrek famously said, we have layers. And we constantly try to dig deeper into our selves.
Probably why we move from one phase to another. Don’t tell me you haven’t had any kind of phase. I mean, I did. At one point I was so into the emo/punk thing, it’s not even funny. Like seriously. If I was allowed makeup back then, I’d probably have embarrassing pictures of me with hella thick eyeliner. Thank God, I wasn’t allowed.
Being in phases is okay. It’s a trial-and-error for life. Finding out what works and what doesn’t. Kinda like in Algebra when the given formula no longer gives a rational answer.
There Are So Many Options Laid Out
I honestly believe that any of us were given many choices. It’s just that, oftentimes, we automatically narrow down our options to the most convenient ones. Or the ones we think we deserve.
I always thought that the only career I could take was being an accountant. A corporate woman. I’m good with numbers and analyzing problems. I even made a post a few months back about careers I could take if not for reasons. But now, while I still plan on getting my Accounting degree, I’m thinking beyond working in corporate.
You have infinite possibilities. So allow yourself to be overwhelmed with them.
Learn a thing or three that you’re interested in. Let as many doors as you want open for you to choose. Try them all out. Or pick several ones that seriously seriously interests you. Really it’s your call.
So if you’re a teenager like me, or even a twenty-something, please know that it’s not strange to be unsure of things and your life. It’s completely normal to, especially in our age. I’m not saying that by thirty we’ll be more sure. No. We all run our lives in different paces. Quick or slow doesn’t matter so long as you reach your destination or goal.
I’ve decided that the first twenty or so years in my life will be a period of self-experiments and self-discoveries. And that decision became one of the most freeing decisions I’ve made in my life. It’s like the helium balloon got free from being tied to a rock.
Happy Monday, awesome peeps! 🎈